Call me the dentist.

Call me the dentist.

Gas Pedal.....

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my kinks include but are not limited to:

cooljimmyhasaswellday:

sin,sinning,being a sinner,burning in hell,being a disappointment to the Lord

(via eyebone)

shutupaubrey:

i could watch this lil guy run for the rest of my life
1:54 AM - 9301 - reblog

officialunitedstates:

armagetto:

officialunitedstates:

the hardest part about being in the fbi is remembering all the acronyms.  fbi?  i have no idea what that stands for.  lol?  what is that

Federal Bureau of Investigation

thanks i’m an absolute idiot so this helped a lot

gaypee: squadala for dinner

hotelmario:

DAS ONE GAY ASS PISS YO

kawaiians:

I HATE ACCIDENTALLY HURTING DOGS THEY SCREAM AND THEN THEY ACT LIKE THEYRE SORRY AND ITS THEIR FAULT AND THEY TRUSTED YOU AND YOU FUCKING STEPPED ON THEM OR PICKED THEM UP WRONG THEY TRUSTED YOU AND YOU HURT THEM

you murderer

(via oshawott)

mikan-enoshimas: talk dirty to me

gaypee:

ONLY TEXANS WILL BE ABLE TO READ THIS:

tastelessbitch:

invadedagain:

mandifromtheacademy:

bandgasmm:

theprex:

gaypee:

howdy y’all sweet iced tea hook em horns remember the alamo

*clap clap clap clap*

DEEP IN THE HEARRRRTTTTT OF TEXASSSSSSSSSS

I cannot stand reading “sweet iced tea” it makes me…

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROASTED

maskedotakuslair:

fadeintocase:

tdrloid:

blazing in progress

this is my new favorite jam.

This is my jam.

420 achieved

(via eyebone)

HIGH SCHOOL



This is how to run a stick of Chapstick
down the black boxes on your scantron
so the grading machine skips the wrong
answers. This is how to honor roll. Hell,
this is how to National Honor Society.
This is being voted “Most Likely to Marry
for Money” or “Talks the Most, Says the
Least” for senior superlatives. This is
stepping around the kids having panic
attacks in the hallway. This is being the
kid having a panic attack in the hallway.
This is making the A with purple moons
stamped under both eyes. We had to try.
This is telling the ACT supervisor you have
ADHD to get extra time. Today, the average
high school student has the same anxiety
levels as the average 1950’s psychiatric
patient. We know the Pythagorean theorem
by heart, but short-circuit when asked
“How are you?” We don’t know. We don’t
know. That wasn’t on the study guide.
We usually know the answer, but rarely
know ourselves.

HIGH SCHOOL By Blythe Baird (via blythebrooklyn)

Fucking-a…

officialunitedstates:

I like globes that have the bumps on them for mountains.  let me feel the earth, run my fingers over your himalayas, caress your inner alps

(via officialunitedstates)

THEME: ROTFERKEL